Sex and the City-The Movie 2

OK....
Its 2:20am . Just got in from seeing the movie with my sister....
I just updated the status on my Facebook page to:
"feeling REJUVENATED, EMPOWERED, UNSTOPPABLE, LIBERATED, and GLAMOROUS!!!!"
And, Boy, do I!

Isn't it funny how the seemingly least consequential things can really alter your mood, change your perspective, and impact your life?!?! I went to the movie on opening weekend out of professional obligation. Yes, I wanted to see it, but anyone who knows me knows that I don't rush to the theater for anything. I get around to it when I get around to it. But everyone was telling me I HAD to see, I felt the expectation, and I wanted to see it with my sister because thats what WE do and I knew she wouldn't wait long. I even left a very fun party to go see it...and I'm glad I did!

I personally haven't read any reviews, but according to my sister, the reviews were less than glowing. Well, I think they are wrong. The movie was superb! While it was NOT the first movie by any stretch, it WAS INDEED EVERYTHING that the SHOW was!! It was light and witty and urbane and glamorous....it was simultaneously real (the emotion, conflict, and dialogue) and surreal (the costumes and settings)....everything we LOVE about SATC!
I guess because I didn't go in with any expectation, I wasn't bound to be disappointed. The goal of the first movie was to tie up loose ends from the show and give a proper send off. In order to do that, there had to be a lot of....well a lot of everything. A lot of drama, suspense, fashion, humor, everything. And honestly, I left the first movie feeling very SPENT- the total opposite of tonight. I understand they had to pack it all in, but it was a lot to digest in just under 2 hours. By contrast, the goal of the current 2nd film, I felt, was to entertain and to let us look into the characters lives 2 years later. There were no dramatic shift in character motivation and trajectory of their lives. That would have been very contrived and dissatisfying. Its purpose was to update and, always, to ENTERTAIN. And that it did!

I won't wax on about the fabulousness of the lines, and gags, and fashions, and set design. Everyone with eyes and ears and any sense of that which is indeed fabulous can clearly comprehend that message. What stuck with me was how simply GOOD i felt leaving the movie. At 1:30am, after being up 15+ hours straight and running non-stop in the heat all day, there was a Carrie Bradshaw-Preston bounce in my step! You know the "bounce"...that souicant little jaunt that she has as she lives her life that simply says "I'm fabulous and I know it and I love it!" And I had it. I can't say I had it everyday this week...even though I looked good everyday. But tonight, it was there and I could feel it....

Then I got in the car, and I thought about my sister's comments about the movie and how great I felt and I realized- or re-realized- that I AM CARRIE!
I have a fierce sense of style...
I have the same inner monologue....
I have the same insecurities...
I make the same kinds of stupid mistakes...
I try hard to fix them when I do...
I'm introspective...
I have marvelous friends I would do anything for and whose opinion and support I treasure...
I, despite ALL (and I mean ALL) the crap I am dealt and the lack of certain resources and the yet unfulfilled dreams, I live a very glamorous life that I constructed just for me that NOTHING can destroy...
I am utterly and simply fabulous and, as Aidan and John/Big told her in the movie, there is no other man like me...And I LOVE IT!!!!

I hadn't forgotten these things totally, but I had forgotten HOW MUCH they mean to me and how much they make me who I am. In that instant, as I entered onto the interstate, I felt this surge of power and self-possession...that "I AM Erica Kane!...I can conquer the world" confidence that defies ALL that attempts to contradict and say otherwise.

Just then, the 12"remix of "Save The Overtime For Me" by Gladys Knight and the Pips (1983, represent all the way baby!) came on... the windows were down and i was floating down the trafficless 440 bypass...the wind in my non-existent hair... looking and feeling every bit of SATC chic: eclectic, quirky, polished, precise,individual... glamorous as a 70's Vogue covergirl just beaming joi de vivre and exuberance of mind and spirit!

The feelings of despair and vagueness evaporated. The negative refrain of not being worthy of or able to find real love and understanding stopped repeating in my mind. The doubts about my career and financial success dissipated.
All that was present was PRIDE in ALL that I am...
a renewed sense of purpose in life...
a regained faith in myself to be more than able to make my dreams come true...
a determination to stay true to myself and not be dismayed nor persuaded to alter who and what i am...

And as the song played and ended, and moved onto "Adventures in the Land of Music" by Dynasty (1980), followed by Chaka Khan's "I Know You, I Live You" (1981), a DELUGE of creativity fell, and in a rapid-fire stream-of-thought, idea after idea flowed regarding how I in my own, creative, glamorously unique way could actualize my dreams and goals, but in a emphatic and altruistic way, so that not only I, but many prosper.
And all of this sprang forth from the deep, incessant well of immoderate and innate style, artistry, and soul that GOD placed within me at creation.

I got home and knew I had to write...to share this incredible experience with you, my friends and supporters...
To, unapologetically and without repentance, affirm who and what I am, to myself and to the world...
To proclaim and establish this personal RENAISSANCE.
And while this is an occasion worthy of note, I trust and hope, for you and I, that such a renaissance will occur daily...that our spirits, individual and collective, and GOD's grace may be renewed in us, every dawn and dusk.

And to think, all this from a trip to the "moving picture show"!

Semper Chic and Love!

Save the Overtime for Me (Remix) by Gladys Knight and the Pips




Adventures in the Land of Music by Dynasty




I Know You, I Live You by Chaka Khan

Sorry Oscar!

So my friend Oscar has been on me for a minute about having not posted anything lately.
Unfortunately, I cannot come up with an original thought! LOL!!

I have been so busy lately with so many projects, that my creative juices for writing or personal expression are stymied. I can't even get my thoughts together to plan my birthday party for goodness sake!! And planning a soiree is usually the most effortless of endeavors pour moi!

In my absence from blogging, I have designed my next collection. It is an amazing fall collection that I am hoping I have the wherewithal to actually begin to produce. I am sorda at a "build it and they will come" place with it, because I don't know exactly how or what to do with it after it is made. But it felt good just designing it... playing with the fabrics, editing the ideas, doing the croquis. Its been too long. I'm glad to know I still got it. But the common sense, logical, "man" side of me makes me hesitate in going into production until I have a clear vision of where to take it from there. And because I am stymied in my personal expression, as aforementioned, I can't quite get that clear vision I need to go forth.
I feel as Diana Ross would sing/ask "Do you know where you going to?? Do you like the things that life is showing you??" Which makes me think I should write a blog about Diana Ross...
Excuse me for rambling. But isn't that kinda what blogging is about?

In the meantime, here is a pic I found that makes me warm inside. I just love Sable!!!...

Everday Life and Observations

I miss Dynel falls...
I cannnot even express the instant Glam'ma!!!

Everyday Life and Observations: A Conversation with Life

So I sent Life a note in the mail yesterday. It went as such:

"Life, I am tired of having to knock on your door every damn day. Hoping you will answer. Hoping you will give me what I am actually there for.
Why don't you come to my house and knock on my damn door for a change. You know where I live. And bring something decent with ya..."

The post office was especially quick. He called me up this morning. I answered on my gorgeous rotary phone. The conversation went as such:

Me: "Hello?"

Life: "I got your letter."

Me: "Oh really. That was fast. I was about to send you an addendum post card saying 'Or am I going to have just keep knocking till I knock your damn door down?!'
So why are you calling?"

Life: "To tell you that the reason I don't knock at your door is because the house you have built for yourself is too grand and intimidating. I am scared to even approach your gate, much less knock on your mahogany french doors."

Me: "Oh Life, you damn fool! Don't you know I built this for you. For you to come and live and bring all that you have, good and bad, with you. But you never come so I lock myself away in here because of you. You are the one to blame. Not me"

Life: "But I wanted to build your house. A real house. With you, over time. But you built your own house. A house of illusion, built of dreams, hopes, fantasy and the house of illusion you built is so grand, theres no way you'll ever leave it for a more modest, real house with me."

Me: "Thats not true, Life. I had to build this house because I had no place else to live. But I only wanted to stay here til you answered your door or until you came for me. I don't like this house as much as it seems. Its drafty, it doesn't keep out the wind and the cold. The colors have faded since my youth when I first built it. So come, already, and lets go build a real house together."

There was a pause.

Life: "Meet me outside your gates"

Me: "I don't know. I have tried to meet you before. All those times I knocked on your door. All those times I stood outside my gates, everyone else zooming by with their Life, waiting for you and you never showed up. You left me standing there, with my hopes in my hands, crushed, and running back into my maison d'illusions.
Promise me you'll be there."

Life: "I promise I'll be there, but I can't promise me I'll be what you want me to be or have waiting what you want me to have. I can only show up as I am, just like you can only show up as you are."

Me: "What about all those times you didn't show up?"

Life: "I always showed up. I just didn't have anything for you. So you didn't see me. Or you saw me and was disappointed that I didn't have anything or that I didn't have what you wanted and so you didn't take me in or go with me."

Me: "What else was I supposed to do?! What else was I supposed to see?! I wasn't asking for the moon and the sun and the stars. Just a little bit of....something, anything to let me know it was worth the effort, that I was worthy of something good."

Life: "I know, but thats just not how I operate. Its one of my many flaws. But if you love me, you have to take me as I am."

Me: "I don't know if I love you."

Life: "Then why don't you give up."

Me: "I can't. I don't know why, but I can't."

Life: "Thats because you love yourself and you love me and you love what we have even when its positively dreadful a lot of times."

Me: "Well..."

Life: "Just keep believing in yourself and in me. And keep meeting me and I know at some point I will give you what you need, what you want. Just try and be patient with me. Can you do that?"

Me, tears in my eyes, trying to breath: "I think I can."

Life: "Then meet me outside your gate, everyday, and I'll be there."

Me: "Ok. I'll try."

Life: "Thats all I ask. I love you."

Me: "I love you too."

Everyday Life and Observations

Why dont I ever see drag queens or cross dressers in career separates or business attire?! No really. I know its funny, but its true. You never see it.
I have never seen one "show up and show out", as they say, in a Tahari suit, or something by Ellen Tracy, or even a St.John Knit. I personally would have a lot more respect for one who was walking around town, looking so pulled together for day.
And while, we are at it, I don't ever see them embracing current high fashion trends, at all. I have never seen one trying to adapt a viable runway look. Never have I seen one sporting something remotely resembling Lanvin or Giambattista Valli, or even vintage St. Laurent or vintage Balenciaga-- all of whom make/made clothes with silhouettes and porportions that would be very flattering to their "non-traditional" body types. Much more so than Cavalli, Versace, and Alaia inspired looks. And I am well-aware that they can't afford to buy these designers- who can these days- but you can definitely get the look for less. And if you are going to have something made, as many of them do, why not have something made that references Poiret or Mainbocher for a change rather than always Gaultier or Mugler.
Think outside the box. Think Nina Simone instead of Diana Ross. June Christy instead of Cher. Or lets compromise and agree on Jospehine Baker, the best of both worlds!
Just my thoughts...

Everyday Life and Observations

Life, I am tired of having to knock on your door every damn day. Hoping you will answer. Hoping you will give me what I am actually there for.
Why don't you come to my house and knock on my damn door for a change. You know where I live. And bring something decent with ya...

Am I alone in these sentiments?

Everyday Life and Observations

Isn't it funny how sometimes your mood and the weather sync up and at other times its completely opposite?

Some days, I wake up and look out the window, and its cloudy and rainy, and I get this warm, cozy feeling that makes me want to throw a scarf or cowl neck on and some shoulder pads and listen to slow jams. This is a good thing, for me. I call these Quiet Storm days. I like Quiet Storm days. I can't have too many in a row, because I need the sunshine or the mood will quickly change. I can deal with maybe 3 Q.S. days in a row.

Then other days, I wake up and I look out the window, and its sunny and bright, and I get this dragging, shiftless feeling that makes me want to lay about in my house coat and listen to "Good Morning, Heartache" and "Black Coffee". This is not a good thing. I hate those days. And whereas feeling good on a Q.S. day is optimistic, feeling bad on a sunny day, is even more depressing. Don't get me wrong, I can listen to and enjoy Good Morning Heartache and Black Coffee when I am in a great mood, but I FEEL those songs when I am in a low.

Today is a very cloudy rainy day here in Nashville. And when I woke up (for good, not the first time which never counts) and I looked out the window, instead of feeling Quiet Storm, I felt Good Morning Heartache.

So whats the point? The weather probably has little to do with it. That we are just going to feel what we feel, when we feel it, however we feel it, no matter what. So I guess all you can do is just deal with it and keep it movin'.

Everyday Life and Observations

In the 2nd season (i think) of the Cosby Show, there was an episode when Vanessa had a pimple on her forehead and the every fashionable Denise advised her to conceal it sartorially with a headband. I have been a devotee of headbands, turbans, and the like since. But my point is, she did not tell Vanessa or me that wearing headbands (or turbans worn low on the forehead for warmth rather than distinction) will GIVE you a pimple!
I will be glad when it warms up...
At least to the mid 50's so I can still wear a fur collar or scarf , but no overcoat.

Semper Chic!

Everyday Life and Observations

This has been one of the most trying years of my life and I have spent a lot of time trying to find answers to very difficult, self-existential questions. Far too many and far too personal to ever attempt to get into here. But, as the year closes and I find myself coming into a deeper sense of peace, if not better understanding, of my life and the substance thereof, I have come to some conclusions...

The most important of these conclusions is that you must see yourself and love yourself as God loves you and as God sees you. Not as people do. Nor in relation to situations, circumstances, or environments. None of these things make you who you are and thus do not impact God's love for you, positively or negatively, or the way He sees you, positively or negatively. The only thing that matters is that you love God and you love yourself and that you show this not so much by the things you do or don't do, but by the way you think, see, and feel about yourself and Him. And in truth, you can't truly love, honor and cherish yourself without loving God, and vice versa.

So when you do or say something that you don't feel great about deep down-not on the surface, because thats where opinions and circumstances abide, but really deep in your heart and soul- thats when God isn't pleased. And in reverse, when you do or say something that makes you feel happy and proud and fulfilled, thats when God is pleased. But most commonly and thus most profoundly, when you live an ordinary day where you may feel a little up in the morning, a little down in the afternoon; when you neither did anything remarkably good or detestably bad; when you just were YOU, with all the confusion, clarity, delusion, lucidity, haplessness, grace, anguish, joy, frailty, might, foolishness, & wisdom that comes with being you, God is alright with you and you are alright with Him.

Once you got that, all the other stuff that doesn't make sense or you can't find order to, seems not so daunting and you realize you will work it out, what you can work out, in time. And the rest is up to God and thus will also find its place in time. Its sounds so easy, but if you loose sight of how God sees you, separate from the situation, it can all seem too overwhelming.

Everyday Life and Observations

Today feel like late October. Its dark and cloudy and theres a chill in the air. I feel like I need to be about very chunky knit sweaters a la Stella McCartney, by way of Dorothy Szbornak-- or what I and Fatimah are referring to as "that Szbornak Steeze".

Its a real "Quiet Storm" day. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, its a musical genre comprised of "slow jams" or smooth, mellow, mid to low tempo R&B songs. Its the black 1st cousin of Adult Contemporary, and maybe 2nd cousin of Singer/Songwriter or Soft Rock. If you are still confused, I have decided to add some videos to clarify as well as to celebrate my "quiet storm" mood...

First up we have Mtume's "You, Me and He", followed by RJs Latest Arrival's "Hold On". And to see what is quite possibly the best example of Quiet Storm music and video, Rene and Angela's "You Don't Have to Cry", click the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxUNDyTqT_o

Everyday Life and Observations

I noticed something so beautiful and inexplicable and effervescent today. Its actually happened several days, but this was the first time I realized my sub-concious expectation of its occurence, and that made it all the more beautiful and surreal...

This morning- as most mornings these days it seems- I realized I needed something I had left in my car the previous evening. So, I put on my sandals and swanned out the front door in my billowing caftan. As I hit the first of a 4 steps down the walkways, a small coterie of butterflies took off, floating up and out toward the bright, warm morning sun. It was absoulutley magical in the Disney sense! Or like a photograph by Lord Anthony Snowdon, so popular in British and American Vogue in the 50s and 60s...full od spontaneity and vivre and glee. And always chic.

I can't wait 'til the morrow!



Semper Chic!

Everyday Life and Observations

This past Tuesday, I was having lunch with my infinitely chic cousin B. at a little asian mangerie on the campus' border. If you know anything about the area, its very hilly terrain and the restaurant is at the bottom of a steep hill and parking is halfway up the hill. I had left something in the car and had to go back up to retrieve it. The day was was too warm, a dry 90 degrees, and the sun was ablaze and high in the noon sky. I was wearing creme colored pants and a tan button down, with bronze, tan and white embroidered dashed lines acroos the chest, and my ubiquitous oversized sunglasses.
As I was climbing back up the broken, uneven sidewalk, I had one of those frequent and vivid flashes of surrealism that adorn my daily life. I envisioned myself as the character Sebastien Venable in "Suddenly Last Summer". For those of you unfamiliar with the work, it is a brilliant, tragic, and morose play by Tennesse Williams set in last 1930's Louisiana and (in flashbacks) Spainish Riviera. The play was made into a 1959 film starring Elizabeth Taylor, Katherine Hepburn, and Montgomery Clift. In the play and movie, there is a scene at the very end in which the trip to Spain is recounted by the character Catherine, where Sebastian is climbing up a steep hill, in the "white hot" heat of the sun, wearing a white exquisitely tailored linen suit. And as I climbed, I instantaneously thought of him and how in that very moment I was him; ever-chic, in the heat, ascending.
On my return trip back to the restaurant, I thought of yet another aesthetic imprint of a cinematic nature. I recalled another 1959 film of Brazilian origin called "Black Orpheus". The film was an adaptation of Greek tragedy Orpheus, set during Carnival in the favelas (ghettos) of Rio, and starring Breno Mello as Orpheus and Marpessa Dawn as Eurdice. The opening scene of the movie is iconic. Antonio Carlos Jobim is singing/playing the Bossa standard "Felicidade" as women work their way up and down the the infamous hills of Rio carrying their bundles, again in the white hot heat. As anyone who has ever tried to navigate their way down a path of questionable stability, while maintaining any measure of poise and wearing slick soles, knows there is a certain sway of the hips and shifting of weight in their walk that they must affect to make it down safely. Noticing my gait, I thought of Marpessa/Eurydice elegantly swaying downhill with her bundle diadem precipitously mounted upon her regal head. In that moment I was her; ever-chic, in the heat, descending.
Such are the scenes of my life. Snapshots of elegance emblazoned upon my memory, enhanced and insribed the mundanity of life as supreme and utter sophistication.

Semper Chic!